Slice of Life - The Busy Trap - #sol14

Slice of Life is hosted by Two Writing Teachers on Tuesdays.  For the month of March, we are posting a slice daily.
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A few weeks ago someone on Facebook reposted an article from The New York Times called The 'Busy' Trap by Tim Kreider.  It was originally published in June of 2012. However, the words in this article are just as true today as they were back then.  

Busyness serves as a kind of existential reassurance, a hedge against emptiness; obviously your life cannot possibly be silly or trivial or meaningless if you are so busy, completely booked, in demand every hour of the day. - Tim Kreider

Here is an interview with Kreider about The 'Busy' Trap:

During the Olympics there was a frequently run commercial for Cadillac ELR Coupe 2014 which supported working too much.  Though I am sure that is not how they viewed the commercial.

This commercial bothered me a lot.  Americans do not need more excuses to over work themselves. We do a fine job on our own.  And I am not certain that we truly need more stuff.  Sometimes I think the more stuff we have creates the need to keep working harder.

In The 'Busy' Trap, Kreider alludes to the idea that some people may use being busy to justify a job that is not necessary or to feel important.  Interesting point.  I, also, think that we take the lead from those around us.  Are we in an environment where it is necessary to be busy in order to belong?

Now, I do realize that there are jobs where those who do them are busy all the time. I do not know a single teacher who isn't busy starting from before students arrive till after they leave.  However, isn't it interesting that you can go into two different classrooms, both are busy, but one class seems calm and relaxed and the other one frantic? How has one teacher maintained a sense of calm while keeping things moving as opposed to the frantic class? 

Today, I realized that I use "busy" as a response to how I am doing way too many times in any given day.  I need to find a new response.  Busy is certainly an honest response, and most of the people I am working with are also just as busy. Somewhere today, I lost two hours. I looked at the clock at one point and it was 3 p.m. and the next time it was 5:15 p.m.  Subsequently, I wondered about how much work to bring home and could I finish it all.

The being busy doesn't fully bother me on some level, but what does bother me is when it starts to impact my reactions and how I behave.  Am I busy, but calm and focused? Or am I busy, and anxious, and defensive, and not the person I want to be? That's when it truly matters.

I loved this ending to Kreider's article:

My own resolute idleness has mostly been a luxury rather than a virtue, but I did make a conscious decision, a long time ago, to choose time over money, since I’ve always understood that the best investment of my limited time on earth was to spend it with people I love. I suppose it’s possible I’ll lie on my deathbed regretting that I didn’t work harder and say everything I had to say, but I think what I’ll really wish is that I could have one more beer with Chris, another long talk with Megan, one last good hard laugh with Boyd. Life is too short to be busy. - Tim Kreider

Now, I don't think that I will just give up my busy ways over night, and be reformed. However, I do appreciate the sentiment of Kreider's words above.  In ten years, will I regret spending time at home finishing up work or will I regret spending time reading with my niece? I suspect the regrets will come in the form of not spending time with family and friends.  Additionally, I am looking for that balance.  A way to be just right busy where I can maintain a calm and caring personality instead of morphing into some stressed out monster.

Tomorrow's another day.  Maybe I will find a new response to the question "how are you"?      

Slice of Life - Authors are Magic #sol14

Slice of Life is hosted by Two Writing Teachers on Tuesdays.  For the month of March, we are posting a slice daily.

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There are days when I am deeply saddened by teachers who truly seem to believe that their students do not want to read.  Maybe these teachers have become discouraged by students who say that they do not like to read.  Or maybe in this time of focusing on standards, we have failed to show both teachers and students the power of match-making the right book to the right child. I believe that students do want to read, but many students do not know where to start, or how to pick a book.  Unfortunately, I think there are many teachers who also do not know where to start or how to connect students to books.  Those of us who do know how this works needs to find ways to inspire our colleagues to see or experience the magic.

I also believe that authors have an ability to spark students' interest in reading in a way that no one else can inspire them.  One way that I seek to bring books alive for students is by facilitating interactions between authors and students. 

Recently, we had the wonderful opportunity to host Natalie Lloyd at three of our elementary schools. She is as magical as her debut novel, A Snicker of Magic. The students could hear the excitement and passion she has in her voice.  
 

A few days later I received this email....   

Alyson, I had such a wonderful morning here at Jackson that I just have to share a little with you since you were instrumental in making it happen. 

I visited Ms. S's 4th grade class this morning to present three copies of A Snicker of Magic to the class, and as I made my announcement the class erupted with cheers and applause. Ms. S informed me that one of her students who has not been much of a reader in the past actually purchased a copy of the book himself and has been busy reading it. Each of the fourth and fifth grade classes has a long waiting list of students eager to read the book. What a fabulous way to start the day! I actually had chills down my spine! This is remarkable, and I am so very grateful to you for making it possible. 

The only other time I have seen anything like this at Jackson was after James Burks visit. As I mentioned to you before, the kids are still lining up to read Bird and Squirrel  and asking about the sequel, but that's another email, and I am out of time now. 

Letters like this make my day.  It reminds me that all of the work involved in setting up an author's visit and in preparing students is truly worth it.  It also reminds me that each of the teachers involved in this visit will have a new understanding of the power of an author and a book to help students discover the love of reading.

Note: I promise to get that post pulled together with more information about Natalie Lloyd's school visits.

Slice of Life - False starts, Writer's Block, & Women Mentors - #sol14

Slice of Life is hosted by Two Writing Teachers on Tuesdays.  For the month of March, we are posting a slice daily.

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Everyone has assured me that over the month, this writing thing will become easier.  I almost gave up this morning when after a hour I struggled through multiple false starts.  I am glad I am not a professional writer.  However, I assume that they have ways of dealing with writer's block or they are better at coming up with things to say about any topic.  At this point, I am setting a timer and whatever is on this page at the end of 20 minutes will be what I post.

It's Women's History Month, which got me thinking about Women Mentors.  Throughout my early and mid-career in education, I was fortunate to have a number of women who supported me in my professional growth. They were all gifted in different ways.  Some were in supervisory roles and others were just colleagues who were a bit further down the path. 

Though they each had unique abilities, there were some things they also had in common.  Each of these women were intelligent, had an ability to read people and situations, and knew how to challenge someone (in this case me) to develop new skills.  Above all else, I knew they believed in me.

As I moved further down the path, I realize there are less mentors available.  Either there are less available or I need to look in new areas to find them.  And before you say that maybe I should be mentoring others at this point, please know that I do. 

However, I do think that there are times in your career where it is hard.  I do not know if this is due to fact that at some point women may feel competitive and not be as willing to lend one another a hand or if an environment has developed that does not support it in the same way.  Some may simply be due to the fact that my/our needs are more complex.  As a new teacher or when just moving into administration, there was a lot to learn, and more people that I could turn to for answers and support. Now I wonder about how to refine those edges that may be getting in the way of growth, but aren't as easy to face.

As women, in all stages of our careers, we do need to support one another.  We need to be able to find safe places in which to share our concerns and fears about our careers without sensing judgement or having something used unfavorably towards us.

Where do you turn? Do you feel that you have had the kind of mentoring and support that you have needed in your career?    

Well the timer has gone off...time to hit publish.

March SOLSC Day 1 - #sol14

Today kicks off the Seventh Annual Slice of Life Story Challenge!  The goal is to WRITE! 

"Every day in March write a slice of life story on your blog."

I have decided to challenge myself to write more and not just a book review or another blog post but to write more creatively.  This is not a particularly easy task for me.  Even a short post can take an incredibly long time to write.  I relate well to students who stare at the blank piece of paper not knowing what to write and hoping that time will run out so that they can move onto something else.  When I have something that I am very passionate about or that is very real at the moment, I can often find the words I need to write about it.  In those moments, the words are easy to find and often my fingers fly across the keyboard trying to keep up with what is going on through my mind.  Even editing my words in those moments is not a struggle.

Yet, much of the time, words seem to escape me.  Writing reminds me a little of small talk.  Some individuals can talk about anything to anyone at anytime.  They seem at ease with chatting about little things and do not really even need the other person to contribute much to the conversation.  For me, spending time with someone I do not know or in a group of people trying to discover what we have in common can be pure torture.  I rack my brain to find questions or topics for discussion and often find silence.

At this point, I am just going to step up to the starting line and see where this month's journey leads me.  Some days the posts may be very short, and other days, the words may come.  Either way, I hope to discover words I never knew existed.      

Slice of Life - Affirmation Through TED Talks #slice2014

Last summer, I was hoping to participate regularly in the Slice of Life challenge at Two Writing Teachers.  Then life got in the way.  I keep hoping to post regularly.  At this point, I seem to post when I have something that feels important.  If you want to participate, you can link up at their Slice of Life Story Post on Tuesdays or you can just head on over there to check out other people's stories. For more information on what a Slice of Life post is about, you can go here.
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When I was a child, I quickly learned that being an extrovert was preferred over being an introvert.  Not only preferred but that it was somehow better to be outgoing than introspective and that there was something inherently wrong with me as a result of my personality.  At the time, it wasn't that anyone specifically commented to me that being an extrovert was better, but it certainly was something I could sense being communicated by those around me.  And surprisingly, the subtle message from childhood became a much more explicit message at various times in my career. 

Over the years, I would watch extroverts in social situations and truly felt pangs of envy. I discovered that if I had a very specific role or task I could manage in a large, unstructured setting.  If I could create a smaller community within a larger one then I could be more successful.  And despite, years and years of experience, I still dislike large social situations.  Give me a small dinner party with a few friends over a large social mixer any day. 

Recently, while I was having dinner with Donalyn Miller (The Book Whisperer, and Reading in the Wild), she mentioned that she was reading Brené Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection and suggested that I also watch the TED Talk by Brown entitled Listening to Shame.  This led me to watch Susan Cain's Ted Talk about The Power of Introverts.

Take a minute to watch Brené Brown's Ted Talk - Listening to Shame.



Now take a few more minutes and watch the TED Talk - The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking 


These two TED Talks resonated with me.  They also made me think about the types of messages that we send to students on a daily basis. Are they messages that affirm or messages that convey that a child is inadequate or broken because of how they approach life or process information? Do we lift up or tear down?

One of the things that jumped out of Cain's talk was the following:

"And the vast majority of teachers reports believing that the ideal student is an extrovert as opposed to an introvert, even though introverts actually get better grades and are more knowledgeable, according to research." 

Now let's couple it with a quote from Brown's talk:

"Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is "I am bad." Guilt is "I did something bad."

Listening to the two presentations back to back made those statements fall into place in a way that they might not have if I listened to them at separate times.  As teachers, are we communicating a message of shame to students who have a different learning style or preference?  We need to remember that for all of our students it is important to communicate that they are valuable and that their personalities and preferences are not wrong.  In a world where cooperative work is prized, can we create a place for both introverts and extroverts in the process? Can we celebrate that all personalities and learning preferences are valued?

Thank you Donalyn for recommending The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown.  I have downloaded the e-book and look forward to reading it.  And thank you Jen Vincent for sending me a copy of Quiet by Susan Cain. Your recognition and affirmation of my personal style is much appreciated.